Office Etiquette

To the tune of “Girl from Ipanema”

Copyright 1991 Stephen Fournier

Nice young judge from Pinpoint, Georgia.
His fly’s wide open, he’s glidin’ toward ya.
The girls he passes, they steam his glasses,
Then, aaahhh.

He’ll take in a porno movie,
With dogs and goats, it’s really groovy.
He’s so obscene he describes his weenie,
Then, aaahhhh.

He’s so much wiser and older.
He’ll put his hand on your shoulder.
Then, when he gets a bit bolder,
You might feel him come up from behind.
How come nobody else seems to mind?

Don’t be shy.  Indulge your passion.
Seduce your boss, it’s all the fashion.
You’ll feel real fine
And help your career.

Sweetest boss you ever had, he
Comes on like sugar, your office daddy
A little jiggle will make him giggle,
Then, aaaahh.

So don’t you get all in a muddle.
This teddy bear just wants to cuddle
He’ll brush your thigh and then heave a sigh
And then, aaahhhh.

Ply him with prurient glances.
Sigh over office romances.
Flash him a glimpse of your pants, sis.
Have a care for his cherished beliefs:
A judge must see everyone’s briefs.

So don’t be shy.  Indulge your passion.
Seduce your boss, it’s all the fashion.
You’ll feel real fine
And help your career.

2 Responses to “Office Etiquette”

  1. Glenn Says:

    All this good advice, and to think: only 3% voted for you as Attorney General.

  2. admin Says:

    A better candidate would have got more votes. People who think humanity is a cancer on the Earth probably shouldn’t be running for office.

    I’m guessing most of the people who voted for me never heard of me before this and did a little research, maybe consulted a newspaper voters’ guide and understood and agreed with the points I made. Someday, if the republic survives, most people will do that at election time. Money spent on 30-second ads and glossy mailings will be wasted (as a lot was this year: some very rich people didn’t get a elected). We should be teaching kids how to do this (as part of a curriculum designed to teach them how to deal rationally with advertising), and we should start early.

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