Humpin’ ‘n’ Pumpin’ with Trump

Looks like we’re going to find out the true configuration of Trump’s appendages and protuberances from somebody who’s seen him naked and wants to talk about it.

Film actress Stormy Daniels came very close to initiating a public discussion of Trump’s sexual prowess in the weeks leading up to the 2016 election, but Trump’s lawyer, on his own initiative and with his own money, paid her $130,000 to keep her mouth shut. Common Cause has hauled the lawyer before federal election authorities, where he’s could receive a talking-to. The lawyer’s not Russian, and so what he did was probably OK.

Leading lady in at least 100 sex thrillers, including “Pornstar” and “Porking with Pride,” Stormy is younger than the eldest of Trump’s kids and is as good-looking as the First Lady, who was pregnant when Trump and Stormy were exchanging bodily fluids.

Just today, Stormy said she’s willing to tell all about the “affair,” claiming the other party to her extortion deal is in breach. Could be that when the media finally get to the bottom of all this, they’ll literally get a glimpse of  the old redhead’s bottom.  Stormy must have access to any number of images of micromembers surrounded by yellow fringe. Who’s goinna say it’s not him? Graphic evidence of genital insufficiency may be what this is really all about. A hundred thirty thousand bucks sounds a little steep for bare allegations.

Some may suspect Stormy’s looking for another cash installment, and the Republican Congress may well be considering a special appropriation for that purpose. No suggestion to that effect is forthcoming from the embedded mass media, however, who are treating the whole escapade as routine Trump scandal: worth a bit of gossip, but of no consequence to the national interest or image.

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